Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
