i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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