you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
