Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
