the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
