that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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