i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
two words...techno handjob
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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