She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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