You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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