OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
