Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
