Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
