Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
