She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
