Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
