Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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