btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize