his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
