i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
honey bunches of taint.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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