I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
