Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
