Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize