please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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