OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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