nut hugger
It's Friday. Sex?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
