dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
