can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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