Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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