Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Randomize
