Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize