We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
