Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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