she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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