six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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