just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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