You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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