In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize