we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
