There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
