She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
