i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
