butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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