You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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