I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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