I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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