I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
