i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
