how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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