Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
