Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
