I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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