Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Panties = found
Randomize
