So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
