Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
