Swine flu. Run for my life!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
