You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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