he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
