honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
