the new term for farting is butt boxing.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can't turn off my feet"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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