This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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