In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
