Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
