At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm getting married
To pizza
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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