I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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