Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
