I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
