I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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