Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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