Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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