Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
