Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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