He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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