Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
