it hurts more in the daytime
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
