don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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