Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
