its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
