Buhtt sex?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize