He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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